We have the strangest of birth orders in my family. It has made life interesting.
My husband and I started with an oldest (girl), middle (girl) and baby (boy) for nine years. Then we adopted a firstborn (girl) the same age as my middle—literally two weeks apart in age, and a first born boy, but middle child, the same age as my biological first born male baby! Are you confused? So were my kids.
Looking back it was a comical competition for position. What I learned watching my two firstborn girls from different worlds (one raised in Russia, one in the U.S.) was that despite socioeconomic differences for the first decade of their lives—they were soooooo much alike. They both put a lot of pressure on themselves to succeed. I never really had to push them in anything. They were responsible, mature and at times bossy with the other kids. I often have to remind them to be a little more “others” centered.
My middle biological and my adopted middle, one a girl and one a boy, would give me their last dime, and probably be the only ones in the family to notice if I was sick or having a bad day. They are sensitive and creative. I have to love them a lot with words and attention.
My biological baby boy is no longer the baby, because the boy I adopted who was a middle for nine years is now really the baby. Yikes. My biological baby has morphed into an interesting anomaly. He is the oldest boy, a middle in position, and a baby by birth. Not sure how to parent him sometimes. He is my interesting birth order experiment!
