It is amazing, seriously, miraculously amazing what an objective point of view can do for your marriage.
Mark and I have had communication struggles forever. We have earnestly tried different ways to make each other see our point. We have made progress but nothing compared to the “communication epiphany” that occurred on our vacation with the Hohfelers.
It was a very simple, natural, unplanned inspiration, but in my life it was a game-changer. The Hohfelers have been friends forever, but they moved years ago. They are funny, like-minded and very real.
Don’t you love REAL friends? Real friends are an “ahhhhhhhhh” for me–a breath of fresh air–a release from expectations.
We miss the Hohfelers all the time. So we planned an unplanned quiet getaway, no agenda just drift together. But in the quiet, not so quiet because there is much laughter between Mark and Jay and much chatter between Beth and I, Jay made some observations about Mark and I. AND he decided to challenge Mark about them.
Don’t we all need REAL friends? They are a window into our lives that we can open without fear of getting cold, wet, or sick.
Jay observed (you can read his total observation and his examples here) that Mark and I have three reoccurring communication issues: 1. respect 2. interrupting and 3. micro-managing.
Mark listened. There was just something disarming and receivable about it coming from Jay. His advice was so simple and so effective. It made me wonder do all real friends have this ability? Do you have real friends like who help you in your marriage? Who do you turn to for communication and counseling?
Beth and I like to laugh too, at ourselves 🙂
