Marriage

Jiminy Cricket!

September 17, 2010

Jiminy_Crickets_4

Do you remember Pinocchio’s little friend? The one the blue fairy sent to watch out for him? The one that sang, “…and always let your conscience be your guide!” I’ve got a tough question for you today…are you a Jiminy Cricket to your husband? I’ve been realizing lately that I assume that role quite a bit. It’s never my intention, nor do I believe it’s my job, but I do it anyway. Do any of you find yourselves doing the same thing—being your husband’s conscience?

I’m learning that I was never meant to be his Jiminy Cricket or his caution light. In fact, the more I caution him (without him asking for my perspective), the more he doubts himself, his talent, his skills, and his ideas.  I become a confidence-stealer, instead of a cheer-leader. Maybe that’s the reason the quarterback always went after the chirpiest cheerleader. What man doesn’t want a girl encouraging him to, “Go! Fight! Win!”? How awful would it be for him to look at the sidelines only to see her screaming, “Just hurry up and throw the ball! Ugh! We’re gonna lose! HURRY!”

As his wife and cheerleader, I know he has great insight and intuition, can successfully run a company, and talks daily with the Lord (major bonus). Shouldn’t that be enough for me to trust that he can make sound decisions—and not just in business, but regarding our family, too?

I wish it were that easy for me.  Instead, I frequently catch myself in the throes of being his still, small voice (biblical reference to the Holy Spirit), instead of his partner, his confidant, his supporter and his helper. Unlike the Holy Spirit, my guidance comes by way of small, undermining suggestions and quick, questioning glances. I often creep into decision-making-mommy-mode and steal an opportunity that would’ve further qualified him as the intended leader of our family.

Boy, he is wonderful to put up with me while I work at cheering him on, instead of chirping in his ear.

Go, Mark, Go!  Fight, Mark, Fight!  Win, Mark, Win!

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