To Persevere
Parenting

To Persevere in Parenting

 

Choose 

Five days after I had my first child, Megan, I hemorrhaged and lost so much blood I had to be readmitted to the hospital for several days for surgery and a blood transfusion. Because of those complications, coupled with my heart condition, a second birth would be dangerous, so before we could have another child, we had to weigh the risks. When we felt it was time to have another baby, we intentionally made the choice, despite the risks, to have Emily. Eventually we chose to have a third child, Mark Jr., and again I hemorrhaged. The doctor then advised us that we should be thankful for our three healthy children and should avoid future pregnancies.  Ten years went by, and there was no growth in our family number—until we decided to adopt two children. It was an intentional choice to expand our family.

Be Intentional

I once heard author John Maxwell speak about what he calls the law of intentionality. He said that you will not personally grow automatically. If you want to grow, develop, and change, you must be intentional about it. You must work at it every day. There is only one thing in life that is guaranteed to happen without you working at it, and that is death. Death is automatic. That was an easy point for me to get. My faulty heart has taught me well that the when, where, and how of death will not be my choice; and it will be irreversible. Every day between now and that day, I must be intentional. If I want to grow, I have to choose to do so. If I want my family to grow, I have to make that choice too. If I want to grow in my parenting, I have to intentionally practice wise parenting.

Maxwell also said that the choice you make, makes you. I can’t go so far as to say that the parenting decisions you make will make your family, but I do believe it will make a difference in your family because there will be a difference in you. As a mom, so much of what you do affects your children. Every decision we made to have another child was very intentional. I must be just as intentional about how to parent each of those children.

Persevere

Every choice, every day, is either growing you forward or pushing you backward. Moving forward takes intentionality. Intentionality takes perseverance. Perseverance is the grit with which we accomplish great things for our families.  Perseverance is your ally in the trenches of parenting day in and day out, through tantrums and toys, exhilarating triumphs and exhausting trials.

Joy

Perseverance does have a prize.  It is joy. Sometimes it is a long suffering prize that comes after years of trial.  Often it is a surprise prize–a random kiss from little lips or a barely audible thank you mumbled from a clumsy teenager.  Joy in it’s randomness must be caught and savored. On this beautiful journey of motherhood if you choose wisely, become intentional and persevere, you will find joy.

Choose > Be Intentional > Persevere > Joy

Consider it pure joy, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.    

James 

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