The boy/girl fascination starts for some around 4th or 5th grade. By middle school many kids start “going out.” The problem with “going out” is as follows:
- They can’t go out because they can’t drive and if they aren’t mature enough to wisely handle a car they aren’t mature enough to wisely handle each other.
- The thrilling roller coaster of “going out” and “breaking up” can become an emotionally unhealthy way to get attention and gain popularity.
- The emotional stimulation is often physically stimulating as well and boundaries are crossed that shouldn’t be at any dating age.
So what do you say to your child about “going out?”
How about no?
When my kids first started talking about kids they knew going out, we talked about the following:
- I told them that it was silly to go out when you couldn’t even really go out without your parents driving you.
- We talked about the disruption to their friendships that would occur if all of sudden they had to eat lunch with their boyfriend and about how their friends would feel.
- We talked about how short lived these relationships were and about how many boy/girl friendships were destroyed by drama before they even got to a viably dateable age.
- We talked about what would happen when and if they wanted to develop a real relationship with someone.
- And we talked about the ultimate purpose for developing a romantic relationship AKA “marriage.”
They got it. They had already witness the truth in what I had said.
You just have to say it.
