When she has a Fender Bender
Last night I answered my phone and heard nothing but sobs – I hate those calls. It was my daughter and after what seemed like minutes (but was really seconds) I heard, “Mom, I just got in an accident.”
Here’s the story:
My daughter went to the mall and parked in the parking garage. By the time she left, it was night and dark. She was talking on her phone as she slowly exited the last level of the garage.. It was a weekday night so the garage was pretty empty. As she was coming down the ramp, she passed a big pickup truck and BOOM…someone backed into her. He was backing out from the space on the other side of the pickup so he didn’t see her coming.
Now, my teenage daughter has never had an accident, so she was very rattled. She jumped out of her car. A gentleman in his 50’s jumped out of his car. She immediately said “I am so sorry!” and he said, “No I am so sorry. Are you ok?” Fortunately, they were both fine.
As they started looking at the cars he said, “Well I think my car is much worse than yours,” and she said, “I’m just so sorry.” You see she was feeling guilty because she was on the phone and she knew she shouldn’t have been. So she was feeling like she had done something wrong (sweet conscientious girl that she is) and she was frightened so she wasn’t thinking clearly.
He said again, “Well I think my car is much worse than yours.” and she said, “Yes it is. Should we trade information?” And he said, “No. I think I can take care of my car, if you can take care of yours.” And she agreed thinking that was the polite thing to do because his car appeared to be worse. Of course, in her rattled condition she really didn’t look closely. She just wanted to get home.
After she got home, we comforted her and spent a lot of time explaining to her that it really wasn’t her fault, and then we went out and took a good look at the car. The assessment: Not too big a dent, however, it was strategically placed on the back door. The back door was jammed shut. The impact of the crash had knocked the car out of alignment, and had caused the window on the back hatch door to snap a hinge. The damage wasn’t awful, but it did cost her money that the other man’s insurance should have paid.
So here is what I didn’t teach my daughter when she has a fender bender.
A. Try to breathe deeply and gather your thoughts
B. Call the police. Don’t be embarrassed to call the police. There needs to be an accident report
C. While waiting for police, be concerned and polite, and then excuse yourself to call us. That way we can discuss how to resolve the issue and make sure that you aren’t being taken advantage of by the other party.
D. ALWAYS get the other person’s information—whether you think you need it or not. Ask to see their driver license and copy down their information, get their telephone number, and don’t forget to write down their license plate, too.
